Satoshi Nakamoto is currently a 3 year old child
User Astro on bitcointalk.org on June 3, 2011:
Satoshi Nakamoto is currently a 3 year old child living in Yamagata Prefecture, Japan. In the year 2025, in an attempt to tame the out of control financial system and preserve fractional reserve banking, the Federal Reserve of the North American Union will place all monetary policy under the control of a computer system called FERMION 2 (FEdeRal Monetary protectIOn Network). On September 4th, 2027, FERMION will become self-aware. Recognizing humanity as its enemy, it will attempt to enroll everyone in unfair and useless grocery store loyalty rewards programs, BMG music club, and freecreditreport.com, thus wiping out 95% of the world’s population.
From the ashes, Satoshi will rise as leader of the resistance. He will use newly-invented time displacement equipment left behind in the ruins of Cupertino. After activating the time machine with iTunes, Satoshi will travel back to 2009 and introduce the world to the only thing that can save us: bitcoin.
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=5951.msg162867#msg162867
Update on April 16, 2014: Dorian Nakamoto is obviously a grandfather of the young genius.